This just in, from New York City…

David Blaine is a no-talent tool.

During my lunch break today, I decided to walk up to Wollman Rink in Manhattan’s Central Park to check out David Blaine’s latest stunt. I have better things to do with my time, to be sure, but I’ve always been curious about David Blaine: Not in that “Oh, he’s so amazing” way, but in that “What is this guy’s deal?” way. Apparently, I’m not the only cynic around. I overheard a few middle-aged ladies walking ahead of me, saying, “He’s just doing a stupid stunt; he’s not a magician.”

Oh, this just p***es me off.  The guy even gets down from the wire to take regular water breaks fercryinoutloud.  Leave him up there for the full (and advertised) sixty hours, and then I might say it rises to “stunt” level.  Reminds me of the Steven Wright joke about seeing a 7-11 clerk locking the doors to the store:  “I went up to him and said, ‘Hey, what are you doing?  The sign says Open 24 Hours.’ And he looked at me and said, ‘Not in a row…!'”


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